I think my fart just growled at me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
