All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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