my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
