Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
They should really pass out barf bags in church
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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