you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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