where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
