You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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