Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
