I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
