I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize