Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
