best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
