So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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