My brain says no but my pants say off.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
