i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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