I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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