It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
