I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
