i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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