Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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