some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
