no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
