Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
