I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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