ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
