walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
