hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
