He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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