I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
how does that bad decision feel?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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