he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
