hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
