yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
