he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
