I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
