if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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