It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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