May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
