You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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