so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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