I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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