I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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