I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
