I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
