We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
