I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
