I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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