he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
