'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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