Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
