Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i was born a porn star she said
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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