***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
